Last night Pastor Greg preached a wonderful and convicting message from Colossians 3:18-21 [show] [18]Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. [19]Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. [20]Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. [21]Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. (ESV)
about, technically, economics. (“What?”) Though we no longer use the English cognate in this way, the greek work from which it is derived (‘oikonomos’) means, basically, ’rules of the house.’ (Remember my post on ‘oiko’ -baptism?) “Economics,” in this sense, are the ruls of how husbands and wives are to relate to one another, and how children and parents are to relate to one another in the “household.” In his instructions to Timothy, Paul hits on these topics as well in instructing “how we are to conduct ourselves in the household of God,” that is, in the context of the church (the ‘household of faith’). The principles are organically the same. In the book of Colossians, these simple (to understand) imperatives come after the sweeping indicative of being transferred from the kingdom of darkness into the kindgom of the beloved Son. That is, given what is true about you (indicative), here is how you should act in response (imperative).
One of the most important (and therefore, probably, most misunderstood) aspects of headship and submission in the context of the family is that our roles do not reflect our status. In other words, man and wife before God are equal in worth, in responsibility, and as co-heirs of the promise in Christ. Man and wife were created in the image of God. However, our roles in carrying out our responsibilities are not equal (that is, not interchangeable). We stand as equals, but we walk and work in headship and submission.
Something I hadn’t seen before was how this so beautifully reflects the Trinity. Father, Son, and Spirit are “the same in substance, equal in power and glory.” No one person is to be exalted above the others. God is one, as husband and wife are one in analogy. (This is often called the ontological Trinity – meaning the Triune God in his essence, or being.) But in how they move out toward us in redemption (and maybe creation?) there is headship and submission. The Father is the head of the Son, the Son submits to the Father, and the Holy Spirit proceeds from the Father and the Son. (This is often called the economic Trinity – meaning the Trinity in his creative and redemptive activities.) The persons of the Godhead stand together as equals, but work together in specific roles.
This speaks volumes to the “how” of headship and submission. Love and respect are of utmost importance in how we as husbands are to lead our wives, and how wives ought to follow their husbands. My wife, your wife, is an equal before God. She is in no way somehow less than, and we must never treat her, or ever think of her, as subordinate in her person or her being. We might even say that husband and wife, as analogical, are also “the same in substance, equal in power and glory.” We are both from Adam, and in marriage become “one flesh.” The burden of household leadership, and of functional submission must be borne by us in utmost humility. Think of how challenging the command is, to submit to a sinner! To obey a “final decision” on a matter when in their (very often better) judgment we’re making a bad move? We must provoke them to Christlike submission by leading with Christlike gentleness. This rules out all “lording over,” which comes from blurring functional submission with essential subordination. The beauty of essential personal equality, and functional personal headship in submission, ought to provoke us all the more to “be imitators of God.”
Father, this is beautiful. And it is difficult. But we love you, Lord, and want to please you most of all no matter the cost. Send, therefore, your Holy Spirit to fill us again. Make us more like your Son, Jesus. For your name’s sake, Amen.
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